The topic of boundaries has come up quite a bit in my personal life lately. It's always a hot topic in my professional life so that doesn’t even make a blip on the radar of life when I have those conversations. The other day I had someone say to me “You are so good at setting boundaries and keeping them.” It made me start thinking about how I got to this point.

I’m so glad I started listening to what my body (some also call this intuition) was telling me. While the other values I listed earlier are important, they are not the ones that are the most important to me. The ones that make me feel happy, safe, and excited to be in a situation are…

I was taught to be a pleaser. I used to force myself to go out. I did things I didn’t want to do to make others happy with me. Most of the time I didn’t care anything about the event I went to so I had to fake smile all effing night. This led to major burnout…

Oh boy, where do I even begin? The struggle is definitely real when it comes to expectations placed upon us... especially in my experience as a woman.

If we have no boundaries, it’s like the wild west up in our lives. It isn’t as cool as it sounds, trust me!

It’s not like Tombstone where the lawless people coming into our lives are taken care of by a group of attractive men with good hearts, quick hands, and good aim. In real life, we have to be our own saviors. 

There are many reasons why I think insecurity keeps us playing small as women. We let others impact what we do out of fear and judgment, leaving us in a place where we don't know what we're worth and we settle when we think we have found security.

Sometimes it’s ok to do something half-assed rather than not do it at all…I know that contradicts a lot of what “the experts” tell you. For most of the world, if a task is worth doing, you should do it to the best of your ability.

But what about when you are depressed and can barely function?

Lately, my motto has been “Get your clean underwear out of the F’n dryer and go on about your day!”

Merriam Webster has many definitions for this popular “L” word. The one that is most closely associated with the majority of the “acceptable societal view” is the definition of love as a strong affection for another- to hold dear.

Almost all of the definitions refer to this feeling about another person or to be on the receiving end of this feeling from another. I wonder why there is not a definition that includes affection for oneself.