Are you a creature of habit or healing?

When you are out of sorts, what do you need- nourishment or comfort?

It’s odd, but I never really paid attention to the difference in these words till recently. I love words and the nuances in them but how is it I didn’t even think about the difference in these? In my journey of healing, I listened to a podcast (ok...ALL of them) by Sez Kristiansen (yes, I’ve talked about her before) and realized which one I had, and which one I needed. 

Thanks to the good ole Oxford dictionary, I was able to provide you with the official definition.

Nourishment: the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition.

Comfort: a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint.

It hit me that nourishment provides comfort. When you are in an altered state of being (grief, sadness, stressed out, etc.), you want comfort. You want your comfy clothes, a pile of greasy fries or mashed potatoes with mac-n-cheese, and mind-numbing TV shows. 

What you need though is nourishment. 

The Sez-Teresea Dictionary defines comfort and nourishment a little differently than Oxford or Websters. 

Nourishment: Devotion to do what your soul needs to heal.

Comfort: Habits that are dependable and provide short-term satisfaction. 

I was shocked when I wrote that in my journal while listening to Sez. Sez says it takes courage to chose nourishment over comfort because this is what your body and soul NEED. Habits are created through ways of appeasing something and that is like a patch rather than true healing. 

In business and in the self-help arena, there is a HUGE, not so gentle, push to create habits that set you up to reach your goals. Through these habits, you will get up, do them until they are no longer something you have to think about (go on autopilot), and before you know it you will be living a fulfilling and successful life. If it were only that easy....right?

After listening a couple of times, I thought “Well shit. I’m a creature of habit so I’m screwed.” Most people are, especially women. I’ve been forcing habits for a few years now and some stick and some don’t. BUT….as I started writing I was encouraged. Who said your habits can’t be nourishing???

What fills your soul?

Is it time in your garden, reading, or painting?

Do THAT! Make it a habit to nourish yourself in a healthy way. It might look different each day- that is 100% OK. Many people have a morning routine. Mine involves “coffee and…” every day; coffee and journaling, coffee and time on the porch, coffee and reading.

What do your body and mind need every day to operate at their best? Find a way to make that nourishment a habit for you. It might not always be the most comfortable thing to do but growth comes from discomfort and far too often with pain. If you grow any kind of plant, you must prune away that part of the plant that is either keeping the plant from thriving or is no longer growing. 

This applies to your life as much as any living plant. So, how do you set your area up to nourish your seedlings to full growth? You have to do some deep thinking and pay attention to what is happening with you as you do tasks. Finding what nourishes you and satisfies you isn’t always what you think it is.

There is one thing not many of the guru’s out there will tell you...or at least not after a certain point. They assume you have been doing the legwork and already know what satisfaction and fulfillment mean to you. That is why some steps and instructions are vague, leaving feeling less than fulfilled after you set goals, start habits, and get to work on them. 

How do you set goals and create habits?

Do they nourish your body and soul or just come from what you “should” do?

A major area of goal setting and habit formation is your career. It is a broken system of career choices. Why do we shelter kids in school from the real world and expect them to know by the age of 18 what they want to do as a career AKA The Rest of Their Life without experiencing what is out there? Your dreams around what you do to get paid are direct reflections of what you experienced as a kid. 

We are afraid so often to go for what makes our soul sing because we let external input sway our decisions. We create habits to comfort us (so we know what to expect) instead of nourishing our desires. It’s time for you to break this cycle for yourself and those you love.

This is how you choose nourishment over comfort

• Pay attention to what your body and soul need to heal, not just get through it.

• Create habits that are nourishing but don’t rely just on habits. 

• Trust your intuition about your path in life. Go where you feel called.

• Don’t be afraid to change something when it is no longer giving you nourishment.

Peace and love

Teresea

Photo credit: Unsplash; Lee Wright