Evaluation Apprehension
I was looking through my many, many stacks of notes and found this: There are three reasons for the failure of group brainstorming: Social loafing, production blocking, and evaluation apprehension. The last “reason” was underlined three times. It hit a cord then and now as I re-read it.
I can’t be sure but I think it came from Find Your Why or Start With Why.
While working in plenty of roles in Corporate America, I’ve seen them all. I think the biggest reason this fails is due to evaluation apprehension (aka “What are they going to think about me/my idea?”). And, unfortunately, evaluation apprehension appears in our life beyond that conference room where we worry about how our answers will impact our careers. For some people, fear of judgment and humiliation in front of others is like a huge sign flashing “Danger Ahead.”
How many good ideas can one come up with while being apprehensive of judgment for them?
If you answered “not many,” you were right.
Fear in general causes a lot of our current social apprehensions in my opinion. When I talk to people about journaling they love it or vehemently blurt out that they don’t do it and they’re not interested in trying it. Of course, I always ask questions to find out why people feel the way they do.
The reasons to do it are numerous and you can find people everywhere telling you how it changed their life. I’m one of those people. (Don’t take my word for it. Check out Psychology Today.)
The reasons people don’t want to do it usually come in the forms below.
“What’s the point? It won’t change anything.”
The hasty “I don’t have time.”
Spoiler alert…those aren’t the real reasons.
One of the most common replies I get (after I dig a little deeper) is “What if someone else reads it?” Our fear of expressing our own thoughts and feelings, even privately keeps us from our full authenticity. It keeps all the garbage we think about ourselves and others trapped in the space between our ears and eyes, distorting how we see things, filter the information we hear, and analyze those things into our thoughts.
Now, I don’t usually ask if their partner or family members are likely to read it and disregard their privacy. I know that isn’t it. It’s the thought of having their deepest, darkest thoughts on paper. It feels like they are floating in the wind for anyone to grab and read.
Then what?
The thoughts would be judged.
The person that had those thoughts would be judged.
Heaven forbid. (Clutch those pearls!)
When keeping those thoughts in, they fester bad feelings, they stunt relationships, and build a false sense of who we are. This doesn’t serve us in any situation.
These results will keep us from being happy.
They keep us from making good decisions for ourselves in work and relationships.
Getting shit out (as one friend calls it), helps us to understand how we feel about situations, how we can change our minds, thoughts or words we use that impact those situations, and help us figure out how to get through whatever is happening. This applies to good and bad things.
When things are good, we skip journaling because we don’t “need the help” from getting out our feelings. But we do. We need to see how good some things are as much as we need to see how bad others are.
Just like there are “no stupid questions,” there are no stupid ideas. (Think Sharnado…who would have like to have been in the room when they pitched that? *Raises hand*)
I read that only 6% of ideas make it to market. So of course you are going to have some not so great ideas. That doesn’t mean you should stop offering them to the world. It might need a tweak or some ironing out. That’s why there are so many generations of electronics. Electronic things keep improving by creating them and learning how to make them better. Not saying, it could be better so I won’t put it out there.
The same is true for your contributions through thoughts and ideas. The more you go take time to get out ideas, the more creative you can be. Talking and writing your thoughts help you narrow down what is most beneficial to you and those around you.
If you are upset, getting it out in writing first helps. The emotion is gone and you can see how you helped or hurt the situation.
Let’s talk business first.
Maybe your plan to get more leads and revenue is: Offer a free 45-minute consultation and upsell a follow-up session for ⅔ of the normal price. Then your teammate says “I think 45 minutes might be too much time. They could get overwhelmed and not implement the actions so they never reach back out. How about offering a 25-minute consultation with the same discount.” The boss goes with your teammate’s suggestion.
Are you upset that your idea didn’t get picked?
Or…
Are you happy you laid the foundation for a simple tweak to a successful campaign?
What about when you tell your partner “I need help later with some things at home.” They agree but never ask about them. What do you think?
“I didn’t tell them what things or when I expected to do them.”
Or…
“They didn’t care enough about helping me to actually do it.”
I’ve thought that last thought a lot. I had to learn that if someone is willing to help and they don’t, most of the time it’s because they didn’t know what I needed or when I needed it done. When I learned to reflect on the situation. I learned my first attempt was a good starting point. I wasn’t clear enough in what I needed, I didn’t express myself fully, nor did I get it right the first few hundred times.
Now it goes more like this. I need help this weekend with some things at home. I want to paint on Sunday. So Saturday can you help me at about 11 to move the furniture and remove the outlet covers? Things are in motion and negotiations for the best plan can be made.
This wouldn’t have happened if I kept my thoughts and ideas (wrong as they were to start with) to myself. I encourage you to offer your thoughts and ideas…in a journal or out loud. If you don’t want to share the origins of the ideas with anyone, there’s always a firepit nearby.
Share your ideas with others.
Journal about situations you struggle with.
See your contribution to the outcome.
I hope you drop the evaluation apprehension and share yourself with the world.
Peace and love,
Teresea
Photo credit: Unsplash
