Living my Mindset Like it’s Golden

I hope you heard that in my best Jill Scott voice.

“I'm taking my freedom, putting it in my car.

Wherever I choose to go, it will take me far.”

Have you paid attention to the attitudes of those around you over the last few years? 

A lot of people have attitudes oozing with entitlement and resentfulness.

It is due to a combination of fear and poor self-image.

Combine these two things and you have a recipe for a toxic person.

Fear causes people to act in ways that they would not normally. 

Fear can cause them to succeed or fail.

Unfortunately, most fail. 

This is why I took a hard look at my own attitude.

How are my attitude and behavior playing out in my life?

I was failing to live the life I wanted.

I was making excuses and blaming others for why I couldn’t do something. 

How is yours playing out in your life right now? 

You might be surprised.

As gjozu tells me “you are the main character. Act Like it.” So I did. 

I was tired of being the supporting actor.

I didn’t have to be the woman who gave up on herself because she had a family.

But I was becoming someone else…let’s call her Karen. 

Karen was “happy” because she did the things she was told that she needed to do in order to be happy. 

Karen didn’t do the things she wasn’t supposed to do…but she wanted to.

Karen was a good girl.

Karen went years without doing what she wanted. 

Karen didn’t paint and she didn’t travel.

Karen deprived herself of a life she was passionate about. 

Karen did all the things she was supposed to do and more. 

Karen was supposed to be happy. 

But she was not. 

Karen decided she was not going to let that happen anymore. 

Karen was going to take the happiness that was owed to her. 

Karen was angry with everyone.

When was she going to be happy?

Karen was bitter and miserable. 

Karen became a bitch and an entry in our beloved Urban Dictionary. 

I found myself in a position to be “Karen” so many times. 

I probably was Karen more than I realize or would like to admit.

Why did I become Karen?

Society taught me to be Karen by ignoring my needs and desires.

I was angry, bitter, and miserable.

I followed the rules and did what was expected of me.

Why didn’t I have the perfect life that was supposed to be mine?

Thankfully I chose a better way when I decided to live my life the way it would make me happy.

But wasn’t going to take it from others (the BS or my happiness) like Karen tried to do. 

Making a list is my favorite thing so I did that first. 

What do I want to do? 

What would make me happy?

I got off my ass and planned some things.

• art dates.

• coffees with inspiring people.

• long vacations.

• mini-trips.

• dinners with friends and family.

Taking responsibility for my happiness felt good. 

I listened to my intuition and followed my heart.

My adventures this year started in the North East U.S.- Maine was beautiful. 

And ended in almost the farthest west that one can go and still be in the U.S. (Alaska extends a little farther west than I realized. I totally thought it was going to be Hawaii.)

This year was sprinkled with lengthy travel and random long weekends of fun and relaxation. 

Filling my soul with happiness was the plan and it worked.

It didn’t just happen in one day like it sounds. 

It took a lot of planning and hard work. But it was worth it.

I chose to believe in myself. I chose to change the way I thought about myself. 

About what was possible. 

That is how I made happiness happen. 

Believing in what I could accomplish.

Believing in what was possible for me. 

I looked for, and found, ways to make my things happen.

I had to believe in myself when it seemed something was going to fall through. 

Over the last year or so, I have taken on a new mantra.

What is meant for me will come to me. 

This has sustained me through hearing some hard nos and some silence when I needed words.

I have become more woo-woo in my older age and it feels so comforting.

Knowing that the “no” now is fine. It wasn’t going to be good for me in the end.

So now, I would like to invite you dear one, to join me on this journey.

Explore your current state of mind.

• Are you happy? 

• Is that a reflection of listening to others or are you listening to yourself?

• Does your outward behavior reflect your desires or is Karen taking control of your thoughts and actions?

• How can you make changes to live a happier life? 

  • It doesn’t have to be big…coffee dates with a friend can recharge your happiness batteries.

• What is one small thing you can do today to bring a smile to your face?

  • Text or call a friend.

  • Take 5 minutes after work to snuggle (your cat, dog, kid, partner) and just breathe.

  • Book a massage, nail appointment, etc. for yourself. It can be for today or for next week. When it happens, it will make you smile. 

• Celebrate the good things that happen to you. Even if they're small like that amazing latte you got from the new coffee shop. 

Peace and Love,

Teresea

Photo credit: Unsplash, Teresea Patton