5 Ways to Live a Passionate Life
When faced with a crisis in life, we stop to think about and question our lives.
Are we doing things that matter to us?
Are we happy with this life we have built?
When we die, how will we be remembered?
What the hell are we doing???
Recently I went through ALL these questions and more.
I kept asking myself, “Do I live by my mission and values in all aspects of my life? If not, how in the hell do I make sure that I start doing that?”
I took several weeks to reevaluate my life after a significant loss. After that time alone on the porch, on the couch, and crying on the floor, I can honestly say yes, I do. When I looked at all the things in my life that caused me pleasure, they also caused me pain.
This was when I realized that I had built a life I was truly passionate about with my person.
I wasn’t living a separated life for the first time in a really long time.
My friends showed up or sent things that were exactly what I wanted and needed. Some sent food or went to the grocery store, others sent alcohol and plants. One friend came and did yard work for me - Hallelujah! I realized how blessed I was despite the dark, heavy pain I lived in for that small eternity.
In the last three or so years, I have filled my life with things and people I love. The best thing is that they know the real me.
They let me grieve as I needed, they reached out and still loved me even when I couldn’t respond. It will be a long healing process but I set myself up for success for this healing thing. I am building the right life for me.
How did I do that? Divine intervention! (God loves fools, right???)
I took the time to learn what I really liked to do.
I stopped doing what I didn’t like to do...or found a way to pay someone else to do the task.
By adding things I really liked to do and see, I look forward to being at my home. The rooms are comfy and interesting. My garden feeds my soul and my belly! This ability to be rejuvenated by my surroundings makes life way more enjoyable.
Can you imagine dreading going into your home or office every.single.day.for.the.rest.of. your.life?!?!?!
NO THANKS!
Setting boundaries were a game changer!
This helps with family, coworkers, and many others. Boundaries help know what responsibilities belong to each person, how I (you) expected to be treated, and how much time I (you) really have to help bail others out. When I learned what sucks out my energy and made me unhappy, I started making changes. And I said NO a LOT!!! You know what? It was marvelous!
If you share carpool duties with kids, this could free you up a few days a week or at least one trip per day (to or from).
This frees up time AND mental space on that never-ending to-do list. I know I’m not the only one that has a physical, mental, AND digital list….am I?
Maybe you want to run two evenings a week but your boss always calls you at the last minute to help save them so they can get out for some *insert random excuse here.* You get stuck because you don’t have a family obligation. *insert favorite cursing phrase here*
I suggest you tell your boss you already have an important obligation after work and offer to help first thing in the morning. (Yes, your health IS an important obligation and you are NOT telling a lie!)
You are saving your mental well being and hopefully, the manager will be more responsible about finishing their work or asking for help in a timely manner.
Another glorious thing that has played into my decreased stress, taking the time to learn what I need when I need it, AND being able to voice that need to those around me. When I find myself feeling like I am going to stab my webcam right in the “eye” if I have to go to ONE MORE zoom meeting. I find a way to reschedule, cancel with an honest “I’m burnt out on video, can we do it another time?” (this works because we all feel it but most won’t say it!), or take care of the same thing with an email. They have one less thing on their list and usually, they relate with the honest feeling creating a better bond.
Self-care.
YES, I KNOW! You are tired of hearing about self-care over the last however many quarantine days!
But SERIOUSLY!
I have built a routine for comfort that also serves my self-care needs. Reading, journaling, meditating, sitting on the porch with coffee...and so many other little things that make my habits a self-care treat every day. These things help me to work through complicated feelings and push me to be a better version of myself.
What do you really like to do/see?
Do/see more of this!
Read, dance, plant more flowers, or whatevah it is!
What do you really not like to do?
Do as little of this as you absolutely have to!
Pay someone to mow, clean, or assign chores to your kids if you have them.
Set boundaries that serve you.
STICK TO THEM!
See above...it’s important/
Be honest with yourself about what you want or need to make you happy.
Be brave enough to ask for it!
Be grateful when you get it.
Self-care is the real deal!
Just do it already!
Self-care makes you happier in whatever form you need it. Meditation isn’t for everyone.
Wounds like this never fully "heal" but eventually they do scab over and they don't ooze all over the place anymore. There's always the chance that the scab will be ripped off at an inopportune time but...
Maybe that's just my experience though.
Peace and Love~
Teresea
Photo credit: Lee Wright and Unsplash
